Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
