I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
I forget how to act sober
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
