Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
