the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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