btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
