i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
