He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
