there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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