hell yes lets make some ravioli
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Randomize
