It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
