So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
