Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
