dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
