do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize