I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
