what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
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