i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
