VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
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