There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
