Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
