I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
did you just send me my own nude
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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