he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
