his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Randomize
