She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
