So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize