you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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