and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
