my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
