Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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