hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
