This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Randomize
