if i died would you start the facebook group?
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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