But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
