how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
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