I have demons in me.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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