her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Randomize
