you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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