This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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