the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
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