Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Randomize
