If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
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