i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Randomize
