i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Randomize
