Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
You should frame my arrest warrant.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize