when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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