I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
third nipple confirmed
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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