I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
