Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
