Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
