the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize
