Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
and you fell through a lawn chair
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
