I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize