I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize