she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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