Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
