his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize