I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Randomize
