He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
