He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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