If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
