I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
